I was in my mid-twenties, an independent, politically active, professional young woman. I had my own flat, a stable relationship with my boyfriend, career, social life and yet, I began to feel restless, and to want to search for something more if I could only know what this more was. Somehow, over the next few years I became increasingly fascinated by God and Jesus, started praying, reading scripture and changing my lifestyle. God continued to beckon, always asking for that little bit more, letting me know the strength and intensity of his love and desire for me.

And yet, although I had God, it did not seem enough; I still wanted more. Even so, the idea of religious life initially horrified me, as I thought of everything I would have to give up. Yes, I knew that Jesus had promised a hundredfold, but this seemed to be something vague and spiritual, and not much recompense for the loss of my career, flat, lifestyle etc! But I also knew that the more I continued this journey into Love, the less this would feel like loss and sacrifice.

I came to know the Society via a long and winding road. Along the way I met various congregations, but none had seemed right. But then, on my first visit to an RSCJ community, something clicked, and I simply felt at home. Over time I began to understand why this was, as I discovered a spirituality, centred on the Open Heart, which resonated deeply with the as yet unnamed spirituality within me. The Society's twin calls strongly contemplative and apostolic echoed a call I had long felt to be a contemplative in the world.

Sixteen years on, my sense of being at home has strengthened and deepened. Journeying into the Open Heart via the heart of our world has meant times of pain, difficulties and wobbles but the hundredfold has been so much greater. Being an RSCJ gives me life, growth in inner freedom and self-awareness, and many opportunities for living our mission. Crucially, this is where I find and am enabled to find that more of God for which I long, in ways I would never have imagined. That alone makes the journey worthwhile.